Chapter 1..cont..

*****2****

"Excuse me..ummm..hello..??? wake up...helloo?" came a voice..it was faint..Ahana painfully opened her eyes hoping that she was on her bed at home and it was all a dream. She could see a blur image of a person in front of her..The sight of him startled her..He smiled at her and said "This is the last stop gal!! don't you think you can have the rest of your sleep at home";he mocked..She pulled her jacked , and adjusted her shirt. She looked at him with great suspicion , she gave him THE LOOK (the look you normally give to a pervert who dashes you carelessly in a crowded bus) . "Ishan" he said , "and you are..??" She looked at him with utter disgust, how can you just begin a conversation with some random stranger despo..; she thought . She conveniently ignored him and looked around for her scarf that had probably flown off while she was sleeping . She looked at him "Thanks, for waking me up" she said and sped away.

She did not turn to see if he was there or not ..she was petrified what if he was one of "those" guys her mother had always warned her about. Ahana waved  frantically to an empty auto-rickshaw that was passing by, she jumped into the auto and said "Anna, LB road ponge". Ahana was hoping and praying that she would reach home safe. She ensured that she was not being followed by the strange man she had met in the bus. The auto stopped in front of an old building.She threw the money at the auto driver and ran to the elevator. :"BANG!! BANG!!!she banged on the door.."Riaaaaaaa" screached Ahana. "Am coming , why cant you ever take your keys" came a voice from inside..Ria opened the door ..she looked annoyed "Where were you Ahana!! and why couldn't you reply..Now don't tell me you did not have balance ..why cant you just be a little more responsible ..do you know how many times you parents called me..here", she almost threw her sparkling new Corby at her face "call them NOW!!!" she said and stormed into the kitchen.

Ahana could tell by Rias expression that she had a bad day at work and she was extremely furious.Ahana silently walked to her room , Ria followed her with a hot bowl of Maggi..The room was small , it had 3 beds and a small water dispenser in the corner. A small washbasin at the side ..Suitcases pushed under the bed and big transparent cover with junk on the steel godrej that almost touched  the ceiling ..One bed was piled with clothes,junk and what not..Ahanas bed was neatly done with a simple white bedsheet , right above her bed was a photograph of her family and a couple of books near the pillow ..Ria's bed was covered with a hot pink bed spread , A huge red heart shaped pillow and the wall just behind her bed was filled with pictures of her, features, ribbons and lots of mushy pictures of her and her boy friend. Ria jumped onto her bed with a huge bowl of steaming hot maggi ," Tho, tell me where have you been?". Ahana smiled and said "No where, I went to the beach went for a walk"."Common Ahana, THE BEACH??? I would have been so happy if you had told me that you where with a GUY" giggled Ria...

"Ok? you have a boring life..I'd rather just talk about mine, you remember I told you about that Sari add I sent my snaps for??? I am in" screeched Ria..She was jumping on the bed, with one had managing her bowl."Wow, that's great !! so wen does it start?"
"Oh!!I don't know my agent called me and told me to come to his office tomorrow..I hate him yaar!!, he looks at me as if I am some sort of an alien..Today morning he was there at the shoot and kept rubbing against me..I was so annoyed that I packed up early and left to see Ashmit" ..The excitement on Ria's face changed as she spoke of him..Ashmit was Ria's boyfriend , he was a professional dancer, tall, dark and handsome..he looked like one of the charectors from a Mills and Boons novel. They looked perfect together. They were the most talked about couple in tinsel town. Ria had no problem bragging about her guy specially after his victory in "Dance,ke liye Kuch be Karega!!" a reality show that had hit the box office. "Ashmit and I, wow!!! we had the best evening of our lives", she said and winked at Ahana . Ahana threw a pillow on her "Besharam!! you are ONE SHAMELESS GIRL. u know that?, I don't want to hear about what you did with him now!!!Shut up!! " "Ewwwwwwwwww!!" screeched Ahana. Ria giggled;" Now!! what can I do if my roomie is a saint...??" she said and hugged Ahana affectionatelly.

Ahana's Dairy:...


Dear Dairy,

I do not know what I think of these days, I only wish i could go somewhere..somewhere, where i do not know anyone..I was lost today evening..i went to the beach and all i wanted to do was stare into the deep blue sea..It had just rained, I do not know why i love the rains so much..everytime I see it rain, I feel like getting drenched in it..but why do I stop?


I met a guy in the bus today!! well, I would not call it a meeting..but yeah he told me his name :)..i did not reply..why should i ? i do not even know him..am sure his intentions where not good..he kept looking at me i got into the auto..i hate these kind of men..


love
Ahana...


Ria's Dairy..

 hey dairy,

i am so fucked up..My agent wants me to come to his office tomorrow..I dread to go there..the last time i went there, he could not keep his hands to himself..i hate it when he touches me..i feel raped ..but I wont give up ..I cant give up now..I cant go back home and who else would be my agent for 8000 rs a month..He know Mr.Raj..he has promised me a role in his next movie..I hope i get it...
My life is such a mess now..my only joy is Ashmit...Ashmit is going to Bombay tomorrow..


I do not know what i am going to do without him, I think i am in love with him...I know he loves me too..he kisses me with so much love that i go blank..i hope this works out...i had a drink from his place..he is so nice we danced for some nice music and then..............


my mother would kill me if she knows.she does not even know i drink...i do not know what i am doing..am i doing the right thing....


riaaaa...

Chapter 1 -The Brown girl in the rain

*****1****

Ahana sat on the slightly raised part that lined the beach..her feet buried under layers of moist sand ...the rain had made its way to the deepest layer she thought..it felt nice..She had always loved the beach just after it rained. Not a lot of people where there, except for a few like her drenched in their own thoughts and a few stray dogs loitering around aimlessly..Immersed in thought Ahana failed to see how late it had become..Beep Beep!!! her mobile wriggled..She plunged her hand into her huge brown bag to reach for it..The bag was filled with junk..An opened packet of Potato wafers..an empty bottle of frooti , a hair brush that she had forgotten she ever  had, a small tube of lip gloss that had leaked ..a whole bundle of bus tickets and bills , she excavated through the mess and reached for her phone .." Ahana!! are you coming back today!! It 9.45 already..Wer the hell are u!! reply NOW" She read the message and typed her a reply "Yes!! am comin, keep the door open". She pressed the send button..."sending.." glowed on her screen . She looked into the dark blue sea again and Beep!! alarmed her phone again.."Message sending failed" she read..Did she forget that it had been ages that she recharged her phone or was she just trying her luck..Ahana dialed *123# not that she was not aware of her balance but she just wanted to believe that she had forgotten that to recharge..

She slowly pulled out her leg..the sand above her feet slid down ..She moved her numb feet and slowly and reluctantly walked towards the bus stop..Ahana was sure that Ria was going to be very furious. Ria was her only friend in the city..Well she had a mind of her own.She was a model , she lived life with so much joy and funk that always amused Ahana she was infact a couple of yours younger than Ahana..She was tall , smart and carefree...She never bothered about anything in the world. or at least that is how she portrayed herself to be..She was nothing like Ahana ...She never found a problem in making the same mistakes over and over again..Bad relationships, an abusive yet handsome boy friend, her agent who was a pervert , a family that had never supported her ambition of becoming an actress was what she was...She had never seen Ria weep or regret . Ahana always saw her as some weird alien..Was she even human she wondered!!!

Ahana reached the end of the road.She found a spot she chose to wait for the bus..A small blue light flickered over her head..At a distance she could see two bright yellow lights coming towards her..She managed to fight through the glare and read 29c on the board of the bus.She leaped gracefully into the bus and sat near the window. Ahana tucked her hair into a bun and covered her head with a shawl!! ..Despite her attempts to save  her hair from the pollution and the grime..Her hair was always frizzy and never listened to her. The cool breeze swept across her face, the city was at its best. "Looks like I am the only one awake" she thought. It was so peaceful sans traffic sans vendors sans the hurry of reaching home, she leaned on the old rusted window pane of the bus .

In love with life!!!

All characters in this story are fictitious; and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.


I walked across my bedroom towards my open..balcony....the beautiful silver curtains danced in the breeze..the grey clouds had filled the sky...I dragged my plastered leg across the room and managed my way to the balcony...I could see flashes of light here and there...the sky looked so beautiful..the mix of crimson ,purple, grey and red , it looked like an abstract art piece...I never understand abstract art , but i still think they are beautiful...


Chennai looked so beautiful from here, I could see a thin line of blue in the distance, the beach never looked so beautiful ever....the huge cross on the church looked like as if it was suspended from the sky..The grey clouds had covered the city...There was sudden peace.. I had never enjoyed this place so much..


The wind was playing with everything on its way....the trees were swaying in rhythm ...they looked so graceful....the wind decided to play with me..it played with my hair that i had carelessly tucked behind my ear....i loved the way it flirted with me...Ive never had so much attention in ages.. I silently enjoyed ..the fragrance of wet mud filled the air ...the first drop of rain fell on my face.. I felt beautiful..I felt loved...my skirt kept swirling along with the wind....I conveniently ignored my ugly looking plastered feet...


I had forgotten the pain...the accident seemed like a distant memory...the first drop of rain fell on my face..it was magic..I was enjoying every minute of it..Why hadn't i enjoyed this before.? Why didn't I feel this beautiful and gorgeous before.? Why Didn't the sky look so beautiful ? I felt alive today..I felt I had woken up after a long sleep...


Was it work that prevented me to enjoy moments like these? Was it my race to success that blinded me? Was it my anger to emotions that hardened my heart? Was it just the heat that drained of all my energy? I still could not figure out the answer..am sure all these had something to do with the way I felt..This was not the first time it was raining..I have seen this before..!!! But never felt so good about it...


Should I feel this way? This year was not a bed of roses..I was supposed to feel bad and depressed..I was cheated by my boy friend, the one person around whom my life had revolved...I suddenly felt empty..a strange vaccum had crept into me.; I was not given the promotion I had been waiting for years..Instead I was just ignored by my boss being stereotyped  a headstrong woman.. In my race to being "the winner" I had missed on all those "slumber parties", and those little coffee meets..my friends had organised "To catch up with the old times" which i thought was insignificant...I was 30 and unmarried and my folks were disappointed with the way I had lived my life..I was a total mess..and to top it all..The accident...I do not know what i was thinking..all I remember was bumping into this Humongous tree..and the next thing I feel is a heavy mass on my leg..It was all plastered..The last time I had broken my arm ..I remember signs and messages all over my cast..but now, it was white , as white as snow...


Suddenly every pain seemed distant....It started raining heavily I was drenched....I limped my way to the porch....Why did I not feel what i was supposed to ?..why was i happy? Was I going crazy?? No I was not..I was completely aware of everything..It was not the pain killer that relieved me of the pain.. It was love... I suddenly realized what love meant..This was "it"..I started falling in love with life...with me..with the little ray of hope god had shown on me ..You do not need a guy to be in love with....You can be in love with life ..and thats exactly what I felt...I was in love with ME..thats why I felt so beautiful...One accident!!! changed it all, changed me!!!!....

"Enna Ma Aachu"

Yesterday..was one of those " roller coster" days.. I hardly got any sleep because of a client I had to meet the next day. The thought of meeting her alone without my team freaked me out..all i could think of was." what if i goofed up"? "what if she thinks am no good"..gawdd!!! behind my mind I was sure that i was just being ridiculous..but i some how could not stop thinking about it.

I managed to get on my foot, picked out a nice dress that i thought i should wear for the meeting..and with great hurry i ran into the room, switched on my iron and "What happnens??" no current..I could not believe it, i cursed myself for not keeping my stuff ready the previous night and then somehow managed to find another 'not so wrinkled' dress and ran off to work..As i was already late, I decided to take an auto , and all i had in my purse was 50 rs.I thought twice and decided to take an auto..there i was, on the road ,in the scorching heat of Chennai waving my had desperately hoping for an auto to stop by. And to my utter disgust every auto that had stopped demanded 60rs,80 rs...Gosh!! that was day light roberry !! I finally managed to baragain it to 50Rs ...I was happy..

I reached office still worried about the meet , the anticipation was killing me..I kept going through notes and points i was expected to talk about , and suddenly "Beep!! Beep!! I get an SMS, it was from my client: It said hey, aswathy you can send me the details through mail, we will meet another day" ughhhhhhhh!!!

After a lunch of cup noodles and dahi i managed to buy on my way to office. I ate them all to my hearts content I never knew Noodles could taste so heavenly..Probably because I was hunnnnnggryyy!!!!

The clock struck 7.30 when i decided to leave office back to my room and on the way , I fought with my best friend..and I dont even know why...THAT WAS IT!!! i was soooo furious , so angry that i decided to walk instead of taking the bus..I walked and walked and walked , and slowly i could feel my stomach growl of hunger..But i ignored those calls I reached a Bus depot from where I had to catch another bus. I luckily got a bus immediately but unlike always I did not get a seat this time and to my utter disgust there was this man standing next to me who made weird noises and kept spitting his pan all around the place..ERR!!! i wanted to just run away!!

I managed to find some space and squeezed my way to another spot, and then i tried distracting myself from the fight, the client meet and all those irritating things that had happened that day. I suddenly noticed a small girl signalling her dad, who was standing behind another woman. I wondered why..she kept rolling her eyes. Her dad on the other hand was almost leaning on the lady..standing in front of her so that he could catch a glimpse of what her daughter was trying to tell her,but unfortunately the lady thought he was one of those "Perverts" and started yelling at him.She was screaming , sounded like a spoilt opera to me..she muttered and cursed him and got down and then we realised that his daughter was actually signalling him to sit next to her as the lady next to her was getting down. The whole bus broke into giggles..and so did I.Poor Guy!! I thought. The bus stopped again and a lot of passengers got down and suddenly I saw this guy looking at me from the bus stop and screaming something. I wondered why? I looked left and right to see if he really meant me.. and yes it was, I suddenly remembered what my mother told me when i was a teenager " Ashu..be carefull when strangers act wierd" I thought may be he is one of those weird kinds..I tried to peep and see if he was still looking at me and yes he waa, he was pointing at me and telling something.. I prayed for the bus to start and then i see this guy running and boarding on to it "Gone" I thought , he walked towards me and he was laughing. I started thinking of all those bitter things I should say If he comes to me, i turned my head and acted as if i did not see him at all..And suddenly he says " Appa!! antha stopill eranganam Appa" (Dad!! that was the stop we had to get down) I was confused .. he looked at me and said " enna madam naa ungakitta appave kupada sone ningal kekaveille" (What mam!! I asked you to call my father standing behind you and you did not even look at me) ..I was puzzled and embarrassed all he wanted to do was call his father who was standing behind me who did not know his son had got down.....I I looked around to see if anyone had noticed , well Heck!! yes everyone saw it.. I burst out laughing..the conducter walked next to me looked at me in a weird way and asked "Enamma Aachu" (What happened dear) I shook my head and slowly got down.. I could not stop laughing. Every worry i had felt throughout the day vanishes. It is so amusing to see how small little things can bring a smile to mans face..

Thats all for now

with lots of love

Ashu

Yeh Saali Zindhagi..

Hi there,

I know it has been a long time since i have blogged , I have been so busy that i completely forgot what interests me in life.. I suddenly realized how boring I can be sob sob!!! I have been out here in Chennai for the last six months and there is absolutely NOTHING i have been doing. The last fun thing I did was probably in college when we tried irritating our warden for some random reason. Well!! to be honest she was the biggest entertainer there, I take this opportunity to thank almighty for bringing her to our life without which our lives would have been like a piece of rusted iron.

I love Drama. I dont know if I am dramatic but i love a lot of drama. I mean its so much fun. It kind of give me a feeling of being Human. I love it wen I feel bored, I feel hurt, happy, wacky and any emotion for that matter. It always adds a new dimension to my life. I know that best because my life has been quite a drama. Well , at least the last six years was. Hatred, jelaousy, love, friendship,vengance OMG!!! the list is never ending , and i know for sure that the list will never end..

I love my life the way it is..its not been picture perfect.. there are times when i have wanted to tear my head apart but its k...after all wats life without a little drama...

love

ash